Friends, I made a decision.
I wish it was a hard one but it really wasn't. I quit my job. Just to illustrate what a non-event the actual moment was . . . I called in to work and said, "I won't be coming in tonight. Or any other night to work. I just can't handle it and there aren't any workable options for me." Response . . . "can you call back later and talk to the AST?"
Yup. A giant whatever to the decision that I've been stressing and agonizing about.
No one asked me but I may as well lay it out. The realities of my schedule were not going to allow me to work the twenty plus hours a week that I was scheduled. I attempted to talk to my manager about it . . . her contribution? "Well, you can be late but you'll term yourself."
More to the point, there is so much pressure in retail and in this particular case, if you didn't make 110 % of your sales goal than the implication is that you really haven't done shit. If your goal was 10,000 and you only sold 8,000 why do you suck so hard? If your goal was 10,000 and you only sold 10,000 . . . why do you suck so hard?!
An inordinate amount of my blog posts could already be labeled FAIL--did I really need that kind of pressure in my life?
My sales weren't great and I wasn't the best at convincing customers to open a store credit account. I got shuffled from one department to another where I continued to be not that great at my job. Did I help customers? Well yeah. Did I have good customer service skills? Well sure. Did those things matter? Not in the least.
And the clincher . . . working in a children's department is the most powerful birth control known to man. Working this job has made me change my mind about wanting to have children. It wasn't even the kids themselves. Kids are great. I'm convinced though, that something about having them turns their parents into self-righteous, pretentious, snobby, racist, entitled assholes.
That's not me.
So I decided to quit. No one at the old workhouse seems overly concerned so I think I made the right decision.