The holidays are weird. Do we celebrate them so much as we endure them? Just me? Okay.
The thing that I have learned this holiday season is that if I slack off anywhere, it should not be on my gym schedule. I took a break from working out the week of Thanksgiving because of traveling and weird work schedules and that break stretched into about three weeks-almost without my notice.
There were no physical changes to snap me back to my senses. Instead, I noticed a steady slump into depression. Not working out regularly is a little too taxing on my mental and emotional health.
Here's the thing. . . I don't LOVE working out. I am mortally embarrassed by the people at the gym who like to make love to themselves in the mirrors with their eyes while working out. I am a little put off by the manic sounding fitness updates of some of my more committed facebook/pinterest/internet friends. I can't imagine myself ever looking forward to just sweating. If I ever post a selfie from the gym I have probably been coerced in some way. Like-it might actually be a proof of life thing because I've been kidnapped. Seriously-call someone.
But, I have come to realize that I NEED to work out.
I need to go out and do things that are really hard for me because focusing on doing those things makes it possible to just be quiet in my mind. I guess working out is a kind of meditation space for me.
I need to work out because I need to stick to a schedule that is just mine. Every other part of my day feels like it has been taken up by things I need to do for other people. I work to make money for myself, sure, but my schedule is still dictated. My fitness schedule is really the only one that I have complete control over.
This wild impulse to commit some holiday martyrdom over Thanksgiving meant I relinquished my schedule in favor of other things. . . and it did not go well. I felt more stressed, more rushed, and more unhappy than I have felt in a while.
So I will be heading back to the gym-along with everyone else this month.